Tag, I'm It

From Saffron's http://saffraan.blogspot.com/.

If I could be a monkey's uncle...
...I would train said monkey to train other monkeys and other ape-kind to take up arms, shake off their human oppressors, conquer the world and make me the Monkey King of the World.

If I could be the Pope...
...I would organize the Church to be a fully-equiped, fanatical army of zealots. They will take up arms, shake off the shackles of lousy governments, conquer the world and make me the Pope and Unquestioned Voice and Ruler of the World.

If I could be an game designer...
...I would design a game that subconsciously make the players addicted, and implants subliminal messages. They will emerge from their parent's basements, take up arms and utilize their l337 Counter-Strike and flight simulator skillz to shake off the heckling non-nerds, conquer the world, and make me the Game Guru of the World.

If I could be the President of the U.S...
...I would start a program of terra-forming the moon and nearby planets and move my people there. They will make the moon and the planets green, beautiful and habitable, and then I will sanction "nuclear accidents" that wipes the Earth, and the survivors will shake off their hatred of me, look up upon me and make me the Savior of Mankind.

If I could be a Miss Universe...
...I would seduce the leader of a powerful country with nukes, marry him, gain the trust of the people and their warmachine. Kill the said leader in his sleep, take over the nation, and then conquer the world, and make me the Empress of the Universe.

I'm tagging Lancelot.